Talk:Michael the Fox/@comment-1244258-20121007113135
Okay, i'm doing this critique because i'm sick of hearing people complain about you and your character every single fucking day -.- so you better listen. And I don't want any whining that other characters have stuff because we are not talking about them, we are talking about this character right here. Pretend that your characters are the only characters in the bloody world if you need to, just don't say "Oh but so-and-so has this and that" 'Prologue' Okay first thing's first is that he's a 13 year old fox, who i'm guessing was originally human cause he fell into some vortex. (I'm guessing Michael is a self insert of you cause of the name and age). Anyway, the question is why? why did he suddenly get sucked into a vortex? Also, he ends up in some cave and just happens to find his friend who's been missing for 3 years. If Chris was also sucked into a vortex 3 years ago, was he unconcious in the cave for 3 years? Or did he just happen to fall into the same time period as Michael and is now 3 years younger compared to him? Well now it seems there's this big old dark tentacle monster in the cave with them too, I don't think Michael could run that fast away from the monster with Chris hauled onto him. And why is it only just now he notices he has a sword on him? I mean it's probably not hard to notice the extra weight of a sword on you side, especially that it's supposed to be a longsword. Then he kills the monster with his "sword skills". Was he like taking sword lessons as a human? At 13? Anyway, now he's stuck in the cave with his friend, until out of no where a portal appears just randomly? A little too convenient much? They get sent out into some field somewhere, have a reunion and stuff, meet some chameleon called Chip, fair enough. OH BUT THEN EGGMAN APPEARS AND IS MAKING TROUBLE OH NO. Oh and sonic and his bros are there too. They proceed to trick Eggman and stuff and launch him where ever. To be honest the only thing that bothered me about this was that Chris and Chip were using Sonic's taunts, i mean couldn't they have came up with something better? And Michael jumping onto Eggman's ship and using a sonic like attack, he hasn't evevn been a Fox for that long, let alone been able to learn any attacks. But then you say later on that is was a chao emerald that allowed him to do that so I guess you came up with a reason for that. Umm, can't really see much wrong with them chatting to Sonic and co, except it's a little cliche but i guess that isn't so much of a problem. 'Info' I don't really see many problems with this except that with the likes and dislikes you don't have to write down a lot of the names from a series, like you got Ash, Misty, pikachu etc. which you could change to just being pokemon and you don't need to have your friends and enemies in your likes and dislikes since it's pretty obvious if you like them or not, but that's up to you really. 'Stats' Okay just saying first i'm not sure about the numbers and stuff since i don't know the maximum they can be, so i'll leave them alone. I'm not really fussed about his normal attacks, but i'm guessing that he can only do his special attacks if he has the special item to go with it? I mean that is a good idea if he doesn't have all him special items on him at once cause it would mean he has to think about his strategy depending on who he's fighting and what items he has on him. I'm guessing he can only do his super form with the chaos emeralds and the hyper form with the super emeralds so along as he doesn't always have the emeralds on him at all times that's fine i guess. The form i'm not keen on is the Ultimate form. I mean how does he obtain his ultimate form in the first place? And i'm assuming that if he can't use his super and hyper form that much then his use of his Ultimate form is even less? 'Forms' Oh look, even more forms :I wow *sarcasm* I'll ignore the one's i've already talked about. Okay so he's also got a Dark form and Werefox form, I mean i guess that would be okay? but you should atleast have a reason/background for why he's has those forms or when he achieved them? Cause when sonic got his dark form that was by fake chaos emeralds and him being simply angered and his werehog form was from dark Gaia (but yeah you could have Michael get bitten by another werewolf or something). I'm not sure i completely understand his megaman powers, does he really need to change forms when he uses a new move/power? Does he have some sort of item that allows him to use these powers? It does say that James taught him but there's not really much to go on. 'Overall' Now i'm just expecting you're just going to get angry at me for basically bashing your character. Which to be honest, i know I haven't been that nice but i really couldn't find much to say "Oh that's actually a good idea" There are some parts that i don't see any problem but you really to to add reason and improve on your character. Just look through the question's i've asked and try to find an answer to them if it helps. TL;DR - Don't be lazy and read it :I